I'll never be too old to not want my mommy ....

... This absolute truth of my existence came hurling towards me and hit me smack-dab in the face when Mom left to Abu Dhabi this evening. I feel like a 2-year old. Terribly missing Mom.

After all that mom did for me in the past 5-months post-pregnancy, I realize that her unconditional love and support despite her own ill-health and physical limitations is simply commendable. Makes me wonder - Will I ever be able to grow up to be a Mother like her to my child? Where does she get all that oodles of patience and boundless affection from?  Hasn't she done enough toiling day and night to bring me and my brother up  to what  we are today? When do mothers really step down, resign and retire? The fact-of-the-matter is, once a mother, you'll always remain  one. It is the vicious circle of life. There is no shirking of your maternal duties because just as you think your kids are grown up to stand on their own two feet, and just as you begin to do the victory dance ...the grand babies step in. I've always admired the saint-of-a-woman she has been, but now that I'm a mom myself, I am awestruck by her numerous motherly qualities. I must admit that not until I had to wake up in the middle of the night to change diapers and feed my little one, have I been able to appreciate my Mom in the true sense. I cannot thank her enough for the colossal role she plays in my life. 

I came across this fantastic saying that comes closest to describing what I feel for my mommy dearest. It goes like this "If the whole world were put into one scale, and my mother in the other, the whole world would kick the beam." I couldn't have said it any better.
Love you, Mom!

 

Sleep training.

Aahan! Its the only thing on my mind now .Especially after two days of walking Ishan from the dining table to the fireplace (barely a distance of 20 ft but not so small when go back and forth a 100 times!), rocking him in my arms till my shoulders hurt to the point that they can't hurt no more, and almost fainting from exhaustion. No really! My lil' munchkin is raising a havoc when he's sleepy. He can't soothe himself when he is tired and believe it or not the decibel levels of his squealing has many a times brought mom and me close to a cardiac arrest. Don't be surprised or annoyed if I ask you to repeat everything you say. Yeah, chronic deafness is another side-effect I am suffering from. I need to work an alternative before the deterioration of all my bodily functions. Show me the light, good Lord!

Fatalism ? or free will ?

As Thanksgiving '09 fast approaches, I can't stop but reminisce about the 3 eventful years we've spent in the United States. As I sit back and recollect all the good times I've had and all the nice people I've met, a strong feeling of void and disappointment keeps haunting me. I must admit that serendipity has not been so kind to me ever since I set foot in this part of the globe. "Is it me?", I ask. Three years back, when someone asked me if I believed in 'luck', I would promptly and audaciously reply that I believed in myself and nothing else. As a staunch believer in 'free will', I continued to try harder and self-analyze my position each time things went wrong. I figured that certain things were beyond my control and those uncontrollable aspects governed a major part of the outcome. As much as I dislike to accept this, I've come to understand that somethings like luck & destiny have a profound influence on our lives. My strong deterministic philosophy towards life is weakened by the many blows I've suffered this past few years. I am more of a fatalist these days.  But please don't construe me as a compulsive horoscope-reading, leave-it-all-to-fate type of maniac. I  will continue to do my part. That makes me look forward to Year 2010 eagerly in anticipation of a much favorable turn of events resulting in the fruition of my dreams and aspirations. After all, man proposes and God disposes! Good karma, a beneficial alignment of the planets & stars (obviously,teamed with perseverance and hard work) should do me some good this coming new year. Signing off on a positive note.

Happy Halloween '09 !

Ishan as 'pea in the pod' -  my spider web mini pizzas - pumpkin carving - all dressed in black & orange - Reena's fantabulous, haunted home decor -  a Blonde Sruti - Swati as the most prettiest devil ever - a cuddly winnie the pooh - a lil' tigger - 2 pirate girls - a severed & burnt hand in the mashed potatoes -Jack-o-lanterns - mac & cheese - another memorable Halloween!

 

Say "Cheese" !!!

He smiles in his sleep.
He smiles at Mommy's abstract painting on the wall.
He smiles in amusement at the spinning fan.
He smiles at the dancing lights on his play gym.
He smiles when u tickle his nose.
He also smiled in my belly & when we captured it in a 4D ultrasound.
I can watch him smile even when I'm woken from my deepest slumber. I can watch him smile even when I'm beat at the end of the day. Oh my! I just can't get enough of them.

Ishan's Arrival !

Finally !!! Finally I managed to squeeze in the time to gather my thoughts. Leisure & sleep are precious commodities when you have a newborn around. My son 'Ishan' was born at 1:35PM on 10th Sept '09 and here I am blogging on 22nd Oct '09.  After waiting a full week past my due date (Sept 2nd '09), I was scheduled for labor induction on 10th Sept '09. I went to into labor at 7:30AM. Everything was going on smoothly (and painfully!) as expected. At 1:00PM, Dr.Norton said, "We are ready 'push' and your little guy should be out in an hour." After fasting and snacking on ice chips for so long, I told Adi to get me fuddrucker's turkey burger & their awesome chocolate milkshake once I'm done. But our little one decided to play hard to get. His heart rate fell to 50/min from 144/min and I was wheeled into the OT for an emergency C-section. So much for burger & milkshake, I was put on a clear liquid diet for 24 hrs. LOL!